In My Defense... Pageants and *GASP* Swimsuits

Some resent events in my life, including the crowning of Miss America 2014 last Sunday, have made me think. And I'd really like nothing more than to share my opinions and shed some light on actual truths, not just what you've heard/read before.
I realize that my words may not change your mind, and I'm okay with that, I really am, but please just take the time to read this, and learn a little bit about an event that completely changed my mind, and my life.

The event that I'm speaking of, is competing for the title of Miss Spanish Fork in 2012. I was approached by one of my Sunday School teachers, and such a wonderful guy, whose wife is actually the director of the pageant. He told me that he thought I would be great, and since it was something that I had thought about doing in the past, I thought, I'll go to the meeting, and we'll see what happens.
Of course, I decided that this was something that I thought I could do. It was actually, a really spiritual experience being at the meeting. I kept hearing this small voice in my head saying "Do this, you should do this. Go for it. You won't regret it."
One thing that was so hard for me, was the fact that the pageant night was the same night as one of my best friend's reception. I wanted to do both so bad, but I couldn't I have to pick. I remember crying for probably a full day, trying to decide which I was going to do. I remember thinking, that I needed to pray about this, that that would be the only thing that would quiet my mind and give me my answer. I knelt down in my bedroom, and pleaded for an answer. Again, that small voice said "Do this, you should do this. Go for it. You won't regret it." I was both happy and sad with that answer. I went to my friend, who said exactly what I needed to hear. She said "If this is something that you want to do, do it. I don't want to hold you back from doing something that you feel you should do." Thanks, Brittany. I kept those words with me all the way until pageant night.

Fast forward three months to pageant night...

Production number went great. I was pumped. I had probably peed 103 times by then. And I was dreading what came next. Lifestyle & Fitness in Swimsuit. Being up in front of an audience in a one piece swimming suit was not something that I wanted to do. Partly because I didn't think that there needed to be a swimwear portion. Miss Spanish Fork, Miss Utah, Miss America doesn't ever spend her day in a swimsuit. So why does it matter what we look like?
The bigger part, was that I hadn't been to a pool, or in a swimsuit in probably close to 6 or 7 years.
I went through something that every teenager goes through. It's this horrible seven-lettered word called: puberty. I went through a growth spurt that had left me with very large, very red, stretch marks on my thighs. When my mom first saw them in the dressing room of a store, she actually thought I had been cutting myself because of how red, and weird looking, they were.
I had never seen stretch marks of this kind on a womn before, and I never wanted to let another person seen them. Ever.
I thought my body was gross, I thought it was ugly, I wanted to change it. But I couldn't.
It was so so hard knowing that soon I would have to be on a stage, in front of others, in a swimsuit, and so basically bare, on so many levels.

Back to pageant night...

I was contestant #3, about to go on stage. And I couldn't. Raychellene basically pushed me out on the stage.

And then something, for lack of a better word, magical happened.

People started to cheer. I could hear people clapping, and hollering, and whistling, all for me. It's so hard to describe over the computer.

But for the absolute first time in my LIFE I felt beautiful. Not even kidding, I almost cried on stage. I forgot about the fact that I was on stage in a swimsuit, I forgot about the fact that my shoes didn't actually fit.

I forgot about my stretch marks. Completely.

And you know what? YOU COULDN'T EVEN SEE THEM!! Something that was so huge to me, and something that I thought was so ugly, is so small and so insignificant that it freaking DOESN'T MATTER that I have stretch marks! Nobody actually cares!

That one moment, that wasn't even 30 seconds long (20 at the most!), and that so many people think is so bad, changed my life. Because of that 20 seconds, I now think of myself as a beautiful person. And I feel so confident about myself, and all that I can accomplish.

...Which brings me to my second point.

Remember when I said that I didn't understand what the swimsuit portion was for? Why does it matter what we look like?

IT DOESN'T!

IT SO SO DOESN'T!

My job as Miss Spanish Fork, is so flipping hard. I constantly am sent into rooms full of people that I have never met before. People, who I usually, have nothing in common with. And I'm excepted to interact with them. Preform my talent in front of them. Be a "princess" in front of them.
It takes a HUGE amounts of confidence to do this. And a HUGE amount of confidence to make it look like I'm not having a problem with it.

Swimsuit is about CONFIDENCE. Not looking beautiful. Not looking sexy. Not to get judged on how cut our six-pack is. Trust me, to get out on that stage, in something that you go swimming in, takes a lot of confidence! Being Miss Whatever, requires that you have that same amount of confidence in EVERYTHING you do! Ask anyone, it's true!

Also, 30 seconds, of one night, leads to a full year of plain, old-fashioned service. We devote our whole year to serving our community. I will gladly trade 30 seconds for what I get to have now. I get to serve in ways that I never thought possible. I actually feel the Spirit with me every time I go out to do something for Miss Spanish Fork. I wish you could all feel it with me, because it's so powerful, and reminds me just how true this gospel is.

I wish that there was some other way to judge someone's confidence in 30 seconds better than putting them in a swimsuit. I really do. It's uncomfortable, and it's revealing. But it's so good at doing it's job, that I'm not afraid to do it. Because of that one night, those 20 seconds, I have so much confidence in myself, that I really hate that you're reading this, and not listening to me tell this to you in person. Because I'm doing a horrible job at writing it down. Please just trust me. I don't know if, for me, there could have been anything that kicked out my old thoughts of "your body is ugly" faster, and harder than when I was on that stage.

And you know what? I HAD FUN! It's so great when people are cheering for you, it really is! The music is fast and loud, you're wearing some killer heals, you're adrenaline is pumping so fast because you had 45 seconds to change (and you have to use butt glue to keep from getting a weggie, and it's weird, and it's awkward!). But I had fun! I felt my smile grow as fast as my confidence did. 20 seconds changed my life forever. And the fact that I was in a swimsuit made no difference.

Again. My job as Miss Spanish Fork is HARD! It takes everything that I have. It takes so much determination to get everything done that I want to get done. If I'm not actively doing something, I'm planning on something or thinking about doing something.

If a girl can be determined to stick to a healthy eating plan, and stick to a healthy workout regime, then she can be determined enough to stick to her year as Miss Whatever.
When I competed in the Miss Spanish Fork pageant, I felt so good! For the first time in my life, I was eating healthy, I was working out half-an-hour every day. I felt so healthy. I wasn't tired, I was able to focus on things better, I just plain FELT GOOD! Again, for the first time in my life, something good was happening.

I felt strong. I felt confident that I could do it. I felt confident that I could do anything.

And yes. Because I was going to be in a swimsuit, it caused changes in my life that are still effecting me today.

I'm grateful to Raychellene and Vernon, to Natasha, to Stacey, to Brock, to my parents, to everyone that helped teach me that I'm beautiful just the way I am. That there is nothing wrong with the way I look. That I can commit to a healthy life. That I can feel good in everything that I do.

Thank you.

And thank you Lifestyle & Fitness in Swimsuit. You've helped me see that I, and every single woman on this earth, is beautiful NO MATTER WHAT. Thank you.

See? You can't even see the stretch marks! And you know what? Since the night of my first pageant, I swear, they've gotten lighter! But it doesn't matter. Because I embrace them now. Now, I see them as a symbol of growing up, and new stages that have just begun, the wonderful life I'm going to have.

P.S. I wish I could tell this story to you all in person, so I can better get this point across. But I can't. So please ask questions if you have any. I'd love to further your understanding in why I believe so much in the Miss America Scholarship Pageant and it's affiliate pageants, and the four points that we all stand for Service, Scholarship, Success and Style.

Movies I Watch Over and Over Again, Only I Really Don't Know Why...

I love movies. A lot. Way too much for my own good. On top of my inherent love for movies, I've also recently been laid off from my job, so I've been watching even more movies lately. I was watching a movie today, when my 13-year-old brother came home from school and said: "Why are you watching this?", and I really had no answer other than: " 'Cause I wanted too!". I've found that there are always movies that I turn to when I'm bored, or just because. So, here's a list of movies that I always go back too, even though I really don't know why...  **WARNING: There WILL be spoilers**


1. The Day After Tomorrow (2002)
Directed by: Roland Emmerich
Stars: Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaall, Emmy Rossum & Ian Holm

This is the movie that inspired that question from my brother, and this blog post. It's a movie about a phenomenal climate-change that sends a massive blizzard of freezing air all across the northern hemisphere.
This movie is filled with too many clichés and pretty cheesy writing. Dennis Quaid plays sexy-scientist-man Jack Hall, who sees this event happening, but no one pays any attention until it's too late, except for still-Hobbit-sized Ian Holm (who should have had a much bigger role in the movie). 
Semi-little Jake Gyllenhaal plays Jack's super-angsty son, Sam Hall, who joins the decathlon team at his school, because pre-Phantom Emmy Rossum, and takes a trip with the team to a competition in New York City (three guesses what happens to New York while they're there). Soon after arriving in New York, it becomes evident that Sam will have to compete for Emmy's love with super-sexy-kid-from-the-other-team, who is super nice and offers them a place to stay (which of course, saves their lives).
This movie is filled with one too many natural disasters, tornadoes hit LA, hurricanes hit the tropics, a wall of water hits the east coast (trapping Sam and his posy in the New York City Library), plus the ever-looming blizzard of freezing air coming from the North Pole.

Russian ship that got stuck in a very very convenient place.

While Sam and a few others (including your stereotypical black homeless man) barricade themselves in one of the library's rooms with a fireplace, and start burning books to stay alive, per Jack's instructions. Burning books. In a storm that freezes people where they stood, like a crazy flash freeze ice age, apparently a small fire of books keep them alive. On top of that, Emmy Rossum cut her leg in a mad dash into the library, but neglects to tell anyone about it, or attempt to clean it, for several days. So she ends up getting blood poisoning. Luckily, a Russian ship sails into New York, and gets frozen RIGHT OUTSIDE THE CITY LIBRARY!! I'm not kidding, it's pretty weird. Sam, super-sexy-kid-from-the-other-team, and the other teammate, Brian, all run across the now frozen water, to see if there's medicine for Emmy. Which, of course, there is. They get the medicine to Emmy in the nick-of-time, but not before being chased by wolves. Wolves. Three of them. This movie's pretty weird.

Some of the super magical tents that keep Jack alive. Seriously. It has to be magic.

While Sam and the others are battling book-burning, and wolf chasing, Jack is braving the weather himself to reach Sam in New York. Jack and two others leave, one dies pretty quickly in a scene that tries to be sad, but pretty much fails. So that leaves Jack and his buddy, in a freaking tent, but still alive. Seriously, a tent. A tent keeps them alive when everyone else around them is freezing to death.
Anyway, after battling the weather in the magic tent, Jack makes it to New York, where he is united with his son, and the other survivors. Jack and Sam immediately forget all their father-son-troubles from before, and are now super happy with each other. Sam, of course, wins the girl because super-sexy-kid-from-the-other-team immediately gives up on trying to date Emmy.

I like this movie. It's cheesy, and filled with too many unanswered questions, but I still like it a lot. It shows that humans are pretty resilient  maybe too resilient  but resilient nonetheless. Humans: 1, Mother Nature: 0!


2. Godzilla (1998)
Directed by: Roland Emmerich (yes, again!)
Stars: Matthew Broderick (aka, the only good thing in this movie), Jean Reno, Maria Pitillo & Hank Azaria

This is a movie about super-creature Godzilla, and the people trying to catch him in New York City (are disasters allowed to happen any place else?).
Not-musical-Matthew Broderick plays a nuclear scientist... or biologist... who gets hired by the government to help them catch Godzilla. He has no reason to be there, but it's a good thing he is, because he knows how to act. Jean Reno plays stereotypical-French-military-man who kidnaps Matthew Broderick because he is also after Godzilla, because it turns out the French are the ones who accidentally created Godzilla with their nuclear testing in the Pacific. Maria Pitillo plays Matthew Broderick's old love interest, and up and coming news reporter. She steals info from Matthew Broderick's tent, leaks it to the press, which eventually gets him fired and kidnapped by the French; so she spends the rest of the movie trying to make it up to Matthew Broderick. Hank Azaria is the comic relief, playing a news cameraman who goes by the name Animal. Yeah, he's just there for kicks-and-giggles.
The movie basically follows Godzilla's adventure into New York, his asexual reproduction, and laying his babies 1,000 in Madison Square Garden (how did he even fit in there without literally knocking the place down?!) (who's babies also hatch after like, a day). And fish. It's really no good, and really cheesy. But it's entertaining. Plus, French people! Humans: 2, Monsters created by nuclear bombs: 0


3. The 10th Kingdom (2000)
Directed by: David Carson & Herbert Wise
Stars: Kimberly Williams-Paisley, Scott Cohen, John Larroquette, Dianne Wiest & Ed O'Neill

This is a five-part made for TV, Hallmark movie. That should say enough. But I really really like it. And I watch it all the time! Especially if I'm cleaning. I really love this movie, even though it is HORRIBLY cheesy, and no one really knows about it, so I'm going to tell you ALL about it! Enjoy.

Virginia Lewis. Like Bella, only better, and kicks more ass.

The movie follows Virginia Lewis (Williams-Paisley) and her father Tony (Larroquette) who get trapped in another dimension, where all the fairy tales are real.
Virginia is your typical, there's-nothing-special-about-me-heroine. She's like Bella Swan, only Virginia is a 10,000x better role model for girls.

Tony. He's basically a bumbling idiot.

Tony, is her hard-working dad, whose wife, and Virginia's mother, left him 10 years ago. That's apparently really important for the rest of the story, and for Virginia's sort of, coming of age moment.
In the other dimension, super arrogant Prince Wendell White, Snow White's grandson, is about to become King of the 4th Kingdom, but apparently has to make some visit to his step-mother's prison cell to tell her she won't get parol (because they have parol in the fairy tale world). The evil queen (Wiest) escapes, with the help of the Troll King (O'Neill) and his three dim-whitted children, and end up making Prince Wendell switch places with her magic dog. So the dog is really Wendell, and Wendell is really a dog. Make sense? Good.

Really Prince Wendell

Really a Golden Retriever

Wendell somehow activates a magic mirror hidden inside the prison which is actually a portal into our world, and he escapes into Central Park (again with the New York thing). The prison was actually Snow White's castle, and the mirror was one of the magic mirrors her evil step-mother had (Snow White's step-mother was Wendell's step-mother's mentor... This show is actually pretty intertwined and confusing, and long.) if that clears anything up. No? Okay. Moving on.
Wendell ends up in Central Park, and literally runs into our heroine Virginia. Virginia feels bad that she hit this dog, and takes him in, which she shouldn't have done, because it would have saved her a world of trouble, but whatever, the dog's cute (see picture above if you don't believe me).

Troll King with his three children

The evil queen needs dog Wendell back, because then she could control the 4th Kingdom, and eventually, all of the other 9 Kingdoms. I'm still confused about why Wendell needed to switch places with magic-dog in the first place, but whatever. Not the point. The Troll King says that he'll help the queen, in return for some better land than the desolate crap the trolls have now, so he sends his three idiot children to capture the dog. The queen doesn't think they'll do a good job so she enlists another inmate of the prison, a half-wolf-man (Cohen), by the name of... Wolf. Creative right?

Wolf. I find him very attractive. Another reason why I like this movie!

Well, he's good at tracking, being a wolf and all, so he makes a pretty quick job of finding the dog, with Virginia, who is pretty attractive, and Wolf, of course, falls in love at first sight (bet you didn't see that one coming). He kind of gives up on the whole bring-me-back-the-dog-task from the queen, and is in love with Virginia, which is apparently pretty hard because he also wants to eat her... again, it's kind of like Twilight, only it's not creepy and no one really stalks anyone. Anyway, it's a good thing the three trolls are still after Wendell, because Wolf has jumped ship to the other team.
Long story short, Virginia and her dad end up being chased back into Central Park, and Wendell convinces Virginia and Tony (who can now understand what Wendell's saying thanks to some magic beans) to follow him into the fairy tale dimension. The trolls and now-good Wolf follow close behind, and Wolf manages to turn the mirror back to 'off' (because all magic mirrors have on and off switches).
Virginia is kidnapped by the trolls (because they think she is a witch from the 10th Kingdom (what they call our dimension), and can help them get Wendell back), Tony and Wendell get stuck in the prison, and are now prisoners, and Wolf runs after the trolls to save Virginia.
Wolf saves Virginia from the trolls and they run back to save Tony. The two get Tony and Wendell, and the four all go after the mirror, which is now on a boat with Warwick Davis. The four follow Warwick Davis, with the trolls hot on their tails.
Tony ends up turning Wendell and the trolls into gold statues (it's complicated). So, the three heroes, and statue Wendell are going after Warwick Davis and the mirror, and following him into the woods. The four run into a group of Gypsies who let them spend the night. Virginia angers the Gypsies, who then curse her with ever-growing hair. Logical. Right? Anyway, it causes problems, but it also causes romantic scenes between Wolf and Virginia. Bonding over hair. How romantic?!
The evil queen, meanwhile, has sent the Huntsman (a very good Rutger Hauer) to capture our four heroes. The Huntsman is very good, and feared throughout the 9 Kingdoms, and he catches Virginia, thanks to her long hair.

Virginia with now short hair.

Wolf and Tony save Virginia, and end up being able to cut her hair with a magic axe, but because they're men, they have no idea what they're doing, and she gets a pixie, which makes her even more attractive.
The four heroes (Wendell is still a statue at this point), end up in some farmer town they tracked the mirror too, but this is bad because Wolf has reached his wolf-time-of-the-month and wants to eat people and farm animals. 
Virginia has to enter a sheep & shepherdess contest to win the mirror, and tries to tie Wolf up to keep him from eating girls. Virginia wins, and Wendell gets dipped in a magic wishing well and turned back into a real dog (but not back into his original form, because that would be too hard in fairy tale world...), but Wolf gets loose, and also blamed for a murder. Virginia plays lawyer and gets Wolf off, and exposes the real killer. Happy day. Except, that they lost the mirror, again, and it gets sent off to another town.
But, this town is called the Kissing Town. Can you see where this is going? Well, the mirror get's sold to an auction house, and our heroes have to raise 5,000 Gold Wendells to buy it back. They go to a casino (because they also have those in fairyland), and Wolf ends up winning some jackpot of 50,000 gold coins. He's worried that if he gives the money to Virginia, she will go home and not love him forever. So he goes out to spend 45,000 coins on a marriage proposal, and figures he will give her a choice, him or going home with the mirror that they'll buy back. But, he end up spending it all, but figures that everything else will work out in the end. Which it does, because our heroes raise 5,000 coins anyway. They go to buy the mirror, but the Huntsman outbids them, and walks away with the mirror.
Everyone's depressed, except for Wolf, whose about to propose to Virginia. They go on a romantic date out in Kissing Town, and Wolf pops the question, which a singing ring. It's really annoying, and ugly. Virginia is about to say yes, when she figures out that Wolf

Wolf is now sad

must have won money in order to pay for all that stuff. She gets mad, storms off, and leaves Wolf crying. Wolf then joins back up with the Queen because he's now super sad because he was an idiot.
Tony ends up stealing the mirror, but then brakes it. Tony, Virginia and Wendell start off for where the magic mirror was made, in hopes of finding another one. The trolls come back, and chase them again. They make it up to the dwarves that made the mirror, and they discover that there is another traveling mirror in the Queen's possession. Didn't see that one coming either, huh? Oh, and it also turns out that the Queen is the mother/wife that abandoned Virginia and Tony years ago. Mind blown. I know.
Virginia, Tony and Wendell are captured by the trolls and the Huntsman, and are being taken back to the Queen. However, Tony and Virginia escape, but they then get trapped in the Forbidden Swamp. But, it's okay, because Virginia gets a magic comb that can kill the Queen. They almost die, but are saved at the very last minute by Wolf, whose come back to save them. Happy day!

Sexcapades

They make their way back to Prince Wendell's castle, then engage in sexual escapades (Wolf and Virginia that is). You know, one of those magical-power-spawn-nights. Typical. Don't have sex kids! You will get pregnant, and you will die!
The three make it back into the castle, where the Queen/Fake Wendell team have done a fantastic job of convincing everyone that he's Wendell and fit to be King. Virginia, Tony and Wolf run into the Queen, there they confront her, but she's evil. And Wolf's apparently really on her side, and evil too. That bastard.
Fake Wendell is being crowned King, and the Queen has poisoned everyone's wine, and they all start to keel over (they're all kings and queens of neighboring countries, in case you couldn't guess that). Now the Queen is going to be queen of all, except that Virginia kicks ass and scratches her with that magic comb from before. It's sad, daughter killing mother and all, but necessary, because the mother was and evil bitch. Turns out Wolf wasn't evil, and switched out the poisoned wine for sleeping-powder wine, and everyone wakes up. Happy day!
Except Virginia just killed her mom. Virginia is sad.
But Virginia gets over it when she finds her engagement ring from Wolf inside a fish. Mmmm, yum! Wolf and Virginia go back to Central Park, with their love child inside Virginia's belly, and Tony stays with Wendell, who finally switched places and is a human again, to bring plastic to the Kingdoms.
Everyone's happy. The end.

Happy day!

Really cheesy, but that's just because you haven't seen it. It's like all your dreams of living in a fairytale come true! It's cute. And I love it. So shut up! Humans who are awesome: 3, Everyone else who will judge this movie and never actually see it: 0


3. The Star Trek Movies
Directed by: Tons of people
Stars: William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelly, Nichelle Nichols, James Doohan, George Takei & Walter Koeing

Okay, so, I really do know why I like these movies. Because they're awesome! I think they're pretty cheesy, and kind of weird, but I love them! And here's why:

Star Trek: The Motion Picture:
There's a hot bald chick that actually doesn't sleep with Kirk

This is the hot bald chick

She doesn't get with Kirk

Mostly it's because she's supposed to be with this guy. But that doesn't happen either.

Also, there's the whole V-ger thing. That's pretty cool. I also think that's the real reason that they shut down NASA, can't let that happen in real life.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

For this scene alone, this movie is worth watching:

KHAAAAAN!!

Also, this scene makes me cry every time (and the reboot didn't):

Good movie. Watch it. Now. Right now.

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock

This one's stupid. They find Spock, Kirk's son get's killed, and Kirk hates Klingons. The end.

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (aka FREAKING WHALES!)

This movie is all about whales. And it's awesome. Also, Scotty talks to a computer:

And Spock swears. It's great:

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier

This one's not so good. Except for the opening. Like this scene:

Or when Spock roasts a Marshmallow:

You also get to meet Spock's brother. He's crazy. And you get to meet God. He's crazy too.

Just watch it for the opening.

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

It's good. Spock swears again:

And it's the first time we hear Kirk's middle name. And Christopher Plummer is a Klingon.

So basically, watch them all. Then watch them again. The end.

Humans who like Star Trek: 9,000, Human who don't like Star Trek: -9,000 (good luck climbing out of that black-hole.)

4. The X-Men series

Directed by: I actually don't care about this part any more

Stars: Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellan & others

I don't know why I like these movies so much. They're not that good. Especially #3. I sort of wish that one hadn't been made. I think I like these movies mostly because of my obsession with Wolverine. Because he's hot, and a total badass in these movies. He's stupid in those Origins movies, but awesome in these! There's totally something in his attitude or something, but I'm so obsessed with him. Don't know why. But I totally am! I'm not ashamed.

He's sexy in these...

...and a stupid lumberjack in Origins.

There should be no more Hugh-Jackman-Wolverine-Lumberjack. He's stupid, and a wuss.
Humans who love X-Men Wolverine: 9,010, Wolverine-Lumberjack: -9,010



Enough for today.

I love these movies, so you all should just be quiet. And watch them. Let us grow in numbers!